Thursday, November 11, 2010

Full-on Review (across the sky) What does it mean?

Recently, I posted a tidbit review of Mercury Falls, by Robert Kroese.  And I promised another, more in depth post with pics and links.
If you're wondering, this is that post.

I was going to tell you all about my history with this book, how I'm proudly in the world's first twitter-only rock band with the author (I'm on COWBELL!), and other such nonsense.  I'll refrain.  Let's just get to the book, shall we?

This book.  Oh this book.  It has been one of the most enjoyable in my recent past.  
Here's the synopsis from the back cover.

Christine Temetri is at her wits' end.  For years she's covered the increasingly bizarre activities of End Times cults for the Banner, a religious news magazine.  Yet Christine, who once dreamed of being a "real" writer, has nothing to show for the gig other than a regular paycheck and serious doubt that Armageddon will occur in time for her next deadline.  But after a mysterious man entrusts her with a locked briefcase and orders to "take it to Mercury," Christine finds herself face to face with a ping-pong playing angel by the name of Galileo Mercury.  It seems Mercury was sent from heaven to make preparations for Armageddon, yet became sidetracked by the earthly delights he discovered: Rice Krispy treats, table tennis, and beer, to name just a few.  Mercury's concern for the fate of mankind is middling at best, but he is happy to educate Christine on the details of the elaborate, if poorly organized, calamity to come.  When Christine inadvertently saves the Antichrist - an obnoxious, thirtysomething gamer who still lives with his mother - from celestial assassination, she begins an ambitious battle to stop the Apocalypse and save the world.  But the heavenly host is nothing if not persistent, and Christine, aided only by an apathetic angel and a reluctant Antichrist, has her work cut out for her.  Packed with outrageous characters, Mercury Falls is a viciously funny (and occasionally absurd) morality tale for the twenty-first century.
"No worries," Mercury said.
"I think I've figured out a way for everyone to live happily ever after."
"Well, almost everybody.  And not so much happy as only mildly disgruntled."
"And the 'ever after' part?"
"Actually," said Mercury thoughtfully, "it's more like 'for the very short-term future.'"

Let me just tell you, the wordplay alone is worth the read.  But you figured that out with my last post, didn't you?
This book chronicles the Apocalypse.  Who knew such a weighty subject could be so funny? 
I only take issue with one bit of the back cover.  Occasionally absurd.  Well.  The whole thing is delightfully absurd in the best way possible.  I laughed my way through the Apocalypse.  
Now there's a tee shirt logo for you.

The title refers to when I posted this.  That was a preview-review.  This, of course is a full-on review.  And if you don't get that gag, well, I feel sorry for you.  (If you haven't read that preview sample, you really should, to understand this one.)  Well here's another conversation from the book that cracked me up.
Yes, it's all about prawns, too.

Perp snorted.  "These mortals.  They are mere prawns, being shoved about by -"
"Pawns," Mercury said.
"What's that?"
"The mortals are pawns.  I actually thought it was prawns, too, but it turns out that it's pawns."
"Are you sure?  I've been saying 'prawns' for...must be seven hundred years now."
"Yeah, I've got a friend who knows this kind of stuff.  Trust me, it's pawns."
"Pawns," said Perp, trying out the word.  "You're absolutely certain it's not prawns?"
"Quite," said Mercury.  "My friend is a writer.  I have total faith in her judgment."
"Well then," said perp.  "Pawns.  Such a strange word.  I suppose I'll get used to saying it though.  As I was saying, these mortals are mere pawns in a vast ocean, being shoved about by currents beyond the meager understanding of their tiny crustacean brains."

I adore silliness and absurdity.  Using these weapons to tackle such a controversial subject matter (the Apocalypse, not prawns, of course) is brilliant in my book.
Not that my book counts for much.  
But this is my blog, so it's one of the only two that count at all.

I don't really know how to better describe to you this book.  
It's a fun read.  It draws you in from the first page and leaves you wanting more with the last.
As any good book should.

Go and buy.  And read.  And laugh!