Sneezy, Dopey, & Grumpy Live Here

And yes, I am all three of those dwarves at this moment.  Still Sneezy, feeling a bit Dopey from my cold meds, and, most definitively I am Grumpy.

Didn't sleep well last night at all. My cold meds are non drowsy so I stay far away from them after 6 p.m.  Theoretically this was so I could sleep better last night.  Unfortunately, the whole "not breathing" thing interfered with my trip to Never Never Land.

So after I put my kiddos on the bus this morning, I went back to bed!  Thinking a little rest, maybe a tiny nap.  Ha!  Around 11 a.m., I finally woke up enough to make myself get up and get a cup of coffee.  (Full disclosure, it's 2:23 p.m. and I'm working on Cup 2.)

Then in order to make myself feel better I baked off three pounds of thick cut bacon.  Mmm...Hormel Black Label Thick Cut Bacon. (I buy the 3 lb. package from Sam's Club.  And, yes, I'm totally buying into the bacon shortage of 2012-13, and have fully implemented a stockpiling plan.)  I line baking sheets with foil, and bake, bake, bake. Then pile it up into freezer bags and freeze!  It's so nice to have yummy "heat-and-eat" bacon at my fingertips.  Tonight's menu will most likely feature breakfast for dinner, too, in order to help use up the bacon.  (Hahaha!  Oh I kid, like anybody ever needs to "use up" bacon.)  I think some warm waffles and bacon sounds like a nice easy meal for a mom feeling under the weather.

Bonus:  Here's my favorite waffle recipe.

And just in case you are as obsessed with bacon as I am.  Here's my Pinterest Board "Bacontastic."

Yours In Kleenex,

Pam

Weak of stomach, look away!

I’m ratcheting up the gross-out factor.  As of now.  If you are a delicate flower and don’t like talk of digestive systems, this post may not be for you. 

I am about to discuss my recent battle with gallstones.  (I won!)  Why on earth would you blog about something so gross, you may be asking yourself?  Well, mainly so that I can share with you the remedy a friend gave me.  I really think I was looking at surgery if this hadn’t worked, and it’s not just our overdraft protection plan that’s thankful we didn’t have to go that route.

I have been having pain in my upper right abdomen for a few weeks now.  I honestly thought it was that my bra was getting too tight.  So I got new ones.  Didn’t work.  Now this is a pain just behind your lowest ribs (just below the right boob.)  So I knew it wasn’t my appendix.  Too high.  But I’ve been feeling bloated, especially after meals, and burping all the time.  Now, I wasn’t a 10-year old belching the alphabet, I was discreet, but it was a lot.  Turns out these are classic symptoms of gallstones. 

I texted my friend, who is very knowledgeable in herbal remedies, just trying to find a way to ease the pain.  She gave me the following regimen to “evacuate” gallstones. 

I’ll be honest and tell you that I had my doubts.  But, giving up 4 days of food and drinking some oil still beats having surgery.  If there was a chance it would work, I was game.  And my friend said it worked for her friend.  Not a friend of a friend or some cousin’s husband’s boss.  That gave me some hope.

I know what you’re thinking.  “Get to it already.”  Ok.  Here’s the remedy for gallstones that are painful as all get out. 

For 4 days, drink up to a gallon of steam distilled water and a gallon of apple juice per day.  The juice is for energy (it also dilates the ducts in the gallbladder), the water is to cleanse toxins from the body.

Each day at some point, do a salt water flush or an enema.  The salt water is DISGUSTING!  But it does what it’s supposed to: clean you out.  Mix 1 qt distilled water with 2 tsp sea salt and drink it.  All.  (Not an easy thing to do.)   The enema called for 6 c distilled water, simmered with 2 tbsp coffee, then cooled to lukewarm.  Insert and try to hold for 15-20 minutes before expelling. (I didn’t do this.)

On the third evening, at bed time, drink 1/2 c (cold pressed, organic) olive oil, immediately followed by 1/4 c fresh squeezed lemon juice.  Then lay down on your right side with 2 pillows under your hip.  Stay in that position for 4-5 hours.  (It will be an uncomfortable night.)

Some time that night or the next day, you’ll have a movement and pass the stones.  They’re from bright to dark green.  The darker they are, the longer they’ve been in your body.  (Don’t you love my font color?)

Continue with the juice & water the fourth day to keep cleansing toxins.  Plus, you won’t feel much like eating. 

On the 5th day, eat raw fruits & veggies to ease your system back into digestion.  Broth is ok, too.

Continue the flush or enema for 2-3 days.

OK.  That’s the gist of it.  Here are my thoughts.

~I had a hard time getting down 2 gallons of liquid.  And because I’m allergic to apples, I had white grape juice.  I figured since it’s to provide the body energy for the work it’s doing, it would do.  What it didn’t do was dilate my ducts, so for several days, I was sore.   

~The salt water flush is just plain awful.  It was a chore to make myself drink it all. 

~The oil.  It says it’s easier to drink if its cold.  I don’t know about that, but it was horrid.  But then you get to chase it with lemon juice.  Believe me, after the oil, the juice is pleasant.  Now, I have a steel stomach.  I can’t throw up.  Ever.  They say if you feel nauseated, to sip 2 tbsp tomato juice to cut some of the acid and oil.  I had no problem keeping it down, so I skipped that. 

~The pillows.  OMG.  This was the most uncomfortable night I’ve spent in about 9 years.  (My youngest is 9.)  It felt like my left hip was trying its hardest to burst through my skin.  I was so sore.  But I soldiered on.  I’d move my leg around, trying to find a position that didn’t hurt.  So after 4 hours and 15 minutes, I was done.  I wish I could have hung in there for the 5 hours, but it was awful.  So I removed the pillows and still laid on my right side. 

~Around 5, it felt like early baby contractions.  Before they get too painful.  So, I got up and went to the bathroom and ..well, we don’t have to go there, do we?  Let’s just say the experiment was successful.  There were many, many stones.  Lots of them were dark, which means they’ve been sitting in my gallbladder for years.

They recommend taking it easy the fourth morning.  So I did.  I got up, and had some water.  I was parched.  Then I went back to bed.  Dave and the kids went to church, and I slept.

It took me a full week afterward to get to feeling back to normal.  Much of my trouble afterward was from getting my digestive system back on track.  But I’m happy to report that I’m feeling MUCH better.

Now, I’m hoping none of you EVER  have to experience this.  I pray you’re all healthy forever.  But.  If you ever have a pain under your rib below your right boob, remember this, and it can save you from the knife.

*Please know that I’m not suggesting you skip visiting the Doctor.  Please visit your doctor for any abnormal pain.  I’m just letting you know that this worked for me.  And for that I’m thankful.

Jennifer and the Terrible Horrible No-Good Very Bad Day

Forgive me while I whine.

My laptop fried today.  My baby, she was only a year old.  I'm just sad.  I woke up with a terrible horrible headache and while I was trying to be perfectly still on my bed (movement hurt), who knows what happened but it just started smelling like a fire.  Hubba-bubba was asking what was burning.  I mumbled something like "mwaaahh" and continued with the stillness.

I get up about 2 hours later with just a tiny remainder of a headache, and very thankful for that.  I go to turn on my computer and get the screen that tells you the computer shut down improperly and gives the option to start normally or repair, or whatever it says.  I never pay attention.  Maybe that is the problem...

Click, it just goes off.  I pulled the power supply out of the unit and a few very pretty wisps of smoke come curling out.  That's when I knew.

And got that sick feeling in my stomach.  You know the one.  The no-good, very bad one.

Right now I'm on a Mac and really wishing I had the $ to buy one of these when I got my little baby laptop.  Ahh, well.  Nothing to do, but find a brilliant computer wizard who loves to tinker and fix people's broken dreams computer.

I'll let all ya'll know when my little baby is running and we're playing again.

Pray Jesus Pray.

(This is what my mamaw used to say when the roads were slippery and the car would slide on the mountain curves.)

Seriously, Pray

Total sicko

I'm really really really hoping that I'm not sick. You know those early stages, when you have suspicions but have not been kicked in the butt and flattened yet? That is how I feel now.
I was starving by 9 and decided to tentatively eat a bit. I'm hoping that move doesn't come back to haunt me.
My son had been ill for a few days earlier in the week and now my hubs is puking in a hotel room. (No, I didn't send him away just because he's contageous.) He is at our church's state prayer conference, which is a misnomer. It should be called Minister's Manditory Meetings with services and luncheons thrown in. As we speak, he and freinds are twittering while they whould be paying attention. Poor guys. It ain't easy to keep a youth pastor's attention span much more than 15 minutes unless you add serious humor in there.
I realize this is a completely self-absorbed post. I feel crummy. I don't feel like being inspiring, or confessing pajama addictions. I will say that it is funny, I almost bought and entire set of pjs yesterday, robe & all. The only thing that stopped me was they they didn't look attractive on.
Thank goodness I tried them on. Or else, I'd be wearing poor-fitted pjs right now instead of my old comfys.
So to sum up, here's a somewhat long post on why I don't feel like posting today.
Jen