Friday, April 9, 2010

It’s my brain’s fault.


In 1914, Hans Friedenthal (1870-1943), a University of Berlin professor, warned women that "brain work" could cause them to go bald, while increasing their masculinity, and even cause a beard to grow on their faces, adding "In the future, therefore, women will be bald and wear long moustaches and patriarchal beards." Source: Chewed News.

Well, he had it half right.

I’m just wondering. Is it only me?

About 3 or 4 years ago, I noticed a few stray whiskers on my chin. So I did what every woman who’s not employed alongside the tattoed man would do. I plucked.

Plucking causes irritation and acne. And the older I get, more noticeable little suckers appear. Y’all, I don’t pluck it unless it’s … well, … darker than its neighbors. My hubs accuses me of creating this mess. They come back darker because I plucked them. To this I say “Nay!”

I tried facial wax a few years back and my skin thought it was prom night. Side note: If you had flawless skin at prom, just keep that braggart tidbit to yourself, please. Mmmmkay?

I have not done the bleach. I’m fearful of the same reaction.

I have a theory that somewhere in my DNA makeup lies a latent hairy gene that presents around age 30. I call it the Dormant Wookie Gene, or DWG. Draw that out. Dwwwwwg. Although if it magically sounded like Billy Goat, that would be more apropos. (Don’t you just love that word? Apropos.)

I feel smarter for having used it.

Crap, there’s another whisker.

Maybe I should stop fighting it. Anyone think the female Fu Manchu could break into the fashion world? Yeah, I figured not. So, if you see me and think “That poor teen has to deal with acne AND wrinkles?,” don’t fret. It’s just me. Fighting the fight. I am quite thankful that I’m not bald. So there’s that.

Maybe with all of the memory loss I have lately, I’ll get my baby smooth face back.

*Fingers crossed!

Share! Tips, stories, bearded lady sightings, anything.