I'm a Teeny-Tiny Bit More Shredded than Last Week

Well, I’m still at it..sort of. I have semi-completed Level 2 three times in the past week or maybe it’s more like 10 days but who’s counting? Oh that’s right, I should be. Level 2 is full of push-up/plank style exercises. All I can is say is thank God for Anita, who is the low-impact version of the work out. And I’ve tried to either get a walk or some time on the elliptical as much as possible.

Our spring schedule is starting to wind down and that leaves us with a little more free time in the evenings. D and I have been able to take a walk the last couple of days, we even broke out into a jog yesterday. And don’t fall over people, but it was actually my idea to jog! It was NOT my idea to jog the rest of the way home and to ‘burn it’ for the last two minutes…I think I’m still breathing hard from that episode. Burn it? Really? But that’s my trainer, always trying to push me a bit further.

So all of the aforementioned blathering was meant to lead up to the big ‘weight update’ I planned to do each and every week. Now it’s been what, 15 days? Oh well, if you read this blog at all you’re very aware of the fact that I’m a slacker, sadly our title is not just a catchy turn of phrase.

Now, drum roll please. Someone finally told my scale I was sweating copious amounts (eww) to try and work my badonkadonk off. Yay! I’m down 5 lbs or as someone once told my mom, that’s 20 sticks of butter. I bet you’ll think twice before buttering your roll now, huh? Not me, a hot roll without melted margarine is like a baked potato without cheese, bacon, and ranch…and I wonder why I’m carrying around XX extra pounds. Obvious, right?

Now I’m off to reward myself for all this hard work. Actually I just watched the season premiere of Jon and Kate plus 8 so I’m off to drown my sorrows in something loaded with some sugar and hopefully a good dose of fat as well.

I think there’s a Hershey bar left from our smores that I hid somewhere….

So the 30 Day Shred (plus some elliptical workouts and some trainer sessions) are working for me!

To get some truly useable good ideas, head on over to Works For Me Wednesday.

The Shred of Dread..part 2 or 3 or whatever ...

I’m not phoning it in people. I have to say I’ve amazed myself (hope I’m not jinxing myself now) but I’ve actually completed seven days of the Shred in eight days. I skipped Saturday because we had a killer schedule and I had did a couple hours of manual labor..yuck.

Here’s my update so far. I am now able to do about 90 percent of Level 1 without needing oxygen. I still have to take at least one, okay, sometimes two potty breaks. I know, Jillian, I am not supposed to rest but this is a whole different issue which I promise I will not go into details about again. And if I say it takes me 5 minutes to tinkle, who are you to judge?

Last week I also did an elliptical workout each day along with the Shred. So I’m getting 20 to 30 minutes of cardio. I’m hoping (praying, begging, pleading) that since I’m telling the whole world (well, the entire 10 people who read this blog…okay, okay, five people) this will help keep me accountable to my torture regime, I mean, workout schedule.

So far I haven’t even tackled the ‘eating’ portion of my new diet and exercise plan, one mountain at a time Mohammad. However I will say that I do seem to be more conscious and after a shred session even the thought of food makes me ill for, oh I don’t know, an hour or two.

I have typed and erased and typed and erased this next paragraph too many times, I go back and forth on whether or not to put this out there. I’m so gonna hate myself if I have to come back and report that I’ve gained 10 pounds. But in the interest of forcing myself to stay with it I am planning to update my progress every week or so. Here’s report numero uno: so far there’s been NO weight loss BUT according to my tape measure, I’ve sweated off 1 & ½ inches from my waist and a ½ inch from the ‘gut’ area.

And evidently that’s enough motivation to keep me plugging along for at least a few more days!

So tell me, have you tried The 30-Day Shred? Or maybe you’ve got some great tips and tricks for me to try…come on help a sista out! Bathing suit season looms ever closer….

The One Where I Update Yesterday's Post

Part One is Here!

· Jared’s toe is still broken.

· The cake turned out luv-r-ly! I will post pics soon and some of my tips and tricks for easy decorating (Translation: How to cover up mistakes on a very, very imperfect cake and still have your kids think you are a baker extraordinaire!)

· The Shred is 20 minutes of absolute torture. I have now completed two days in a row. It will be a full out miracle if I am able to do anything at all today. My shoulders, ouch, my arms, ouch, my abs, ouch, my thighs and calves…OUCH….yeah it’s that good. As my partner workout partner(my Jillian) says ‘it hurts, but it’s a good hurt, right mommy?’ I plan to rest this morning, take 2 Advils every 4 hours, and hopefully by this afternoon make an attempt to complete Day 3 of the Shred. I’m not phoning it in! However, I’ve done the last two days in the evenings when my two boys are home. I do not advise exercising around the man cubs (remember this? You’d think I would have learned). You will receive comments like ‘she said do a push up, mom. What are you doing?’ If you choose to ignore my advice be prepared for uncontrollable laughter (from the boys) and intense anger (yours as you try not to kill your smart aleck children).

TMI ALERT! The following paragraph contains Too Much Information. Read at your own risk.

As Jillian so cruelly taunts if 400 lb people can do jumping jacks then I should be able to. Just one question though, Jillian, you black-hearted wench, did those 400 lb people deliver four children um,you know, NOT by c-section? Things CHANGE when you have babies. Let’s just say after my first ‘shred’ I learned that an empty bladder is a pretty darn important pre-workout preparation. My Jill (not the black hearted one) spilled an entire bottle of water and I honestly thought …well…I was really thankful when she said she had spilled her drink. Yep, I went there. Sorry.

I'm off to soak my aching body in a hot bath.

The One with a Broken Toe, a Princess Castle, and the Dreaded Shred

• Jared has a broken toe - spent yesterday at doc & outpatient place getting x-rays then back to doc

• Jill’s 5th birthday is today – she wants a princess castle cake. She tore a recipe out of her Fairy Tale craft book that has 50 plus instructions and uses fondant and requires real jelly rolls…I went to Family Fun found one with canned icing and 5 steps.

• I had every intention of beginning Jillian’s 30-Day Shred today.


However, (excuses, excuses) it’s 2:37 and I’m trying to bake the required 5 layers for the princess cake, eat lunch, pick up the kids from the bus stop in approximate 20 minutes, take Josie to gymnastics at 3:50, and what am I doing? Blogging. The story of my life, when push comes to shove, I lay down.

Do I get rewarded for my crazy day? Yes, I do. We are having dinner out tonight to celebrate our three May birthdays (Jill, Josh, and me!). I think I’m going to tack Mother’s Day on there as well and maybe we’ll head to the Outback. Of course we do have a free kid’s meal at Red Robin so that was a good guess, Jen. I do have a hankering for some yummy strawberry lemonade.

Hopefully I’ll check back in a day or two with details of the lovely cake (please Jesus), my yummy dinner that I’m not cooking, and a report on my first day of the Shred. I’m really dreading it but come on y’all swimsuit season is thudding in my ear like a tell-tale heart….(bet you didn’t know I was Poe fan?)

How’s your Tuesday shaping up?



And lest you think I’ve totally neglected the blogging world I did post a Gratituesday post over in my messy world.

Wordless Wednesday - Okay Not Really

30 minutes of this:

Makes my shirt look like this (digusting I know but my trainer will be so proud!):

Which results in this:

Sorry for the fuzzy pic! Of course the fridge repair guy (who was supposed to be here around lunchtime, maybe a little before) showed up at 10:15 while I was still sweating. Hate that! Well, I hate sweating and I also hate having to answer the door sweating and out of breath! Just doesn't look good.)

ANYWAY! The significance of those blurry numbers is they are the calories I burned during my 27 minute workout today. Yay Me! Now D, if you're reading, please stop. 510.6 calories to be exact, which I figure equals out to one of these:

and both of these:

And still have almost a 100 calories to spare. I should probably use those extra calories on a 100-calorie snack pack of some sort, you think?

What? You want me to waste my hard-earned calorie deficit on fruit and veggies?

Do you kiss your mother with that mouth?

Mii Needs a Bigger Shirt

I Love My Personal Trainer! Oh yeah, girls, he’s totally hot! I mean I really love him, truly deeply and have for almost 17 years now. (I feel old!) I guess you’ve figured out my ‘trainer’ is my dearest darling hubby. I really love that man, but I could almost really dislike being trained by him. (You just can't use the word hate and hubby in the same sentence! It does not work!)

Let me just give you a little background, Daryl is in great physical shape. He’s a natural athlete, loves anything and everything to do with sports and being active. I’ve actually heard him say ‘I love to sweat.” Eww…I (who already have issues w/ sweating, I know gross) hate anything to do with sweat.

Just one rabbit trail, please, and then I’ll try and stay on the hunt. Why do men think it’s funny to say ‘feel my shirt’ when it’s disgustingly soaked with their sweat? Is this just my hubby? And why did it take me 10, okay, 15 years, to learn NEVER to touch, smell, or taste anything when he holds it up and says ‘hey, _______(touch, smell, taste) this!”

Getting back to the facts, hubby is probably only 10 pounds heavier than when we married in ’93. I have ..um let me see how I can put this..gained approximately 3.2 lbs for every year we’ve known each other. I also have a strong dislike of any physical exertion. Not to mention I’m also unathletic, uncoordinated, unbalanced (just ask my Wii Fit), and unmotivated. However, just like every other new year we have once again started a ‘healthier lifestyle’ journey.

Which brings me back to my personal trainer, here’s a little peek into last night’s first session with the Bow Flex (it had been sent to Exile Island but was allowed back into the tribe last night, I’ll let you know if it found the hidden immunity idol).

D: All right, let’s go. What do you want to start with 40 or 50 lbs?
P: Um, 10 or 15.
D; That’s not enough, you need to sweat.
P: I need to take it easy so I can move tomorrow.
D: You don’t look like you’re straining at all.
P: I’m not and don’t want to. (next set of reps) Did you increase the weight?
D: It’s not my job to keep up with what you’re lifting. (Um excuse me but it is.)
P: (inaudible) liar liar pants on fire.

Enter son #2 who is athletic like his father and also ‘working’ out with us.
J: Mom, (insert obnoxious 11 year old snicker) can’t you do more? I did more than that.
P: J, if you don’t go away your mama is really gonna smack you.
D: Seriously son, step away from your mama, this is not the time.

Fast forward a bit.
D: Do jumping jacks while you’re waiting for your turn.
P: (looking at him like he’s crazy) Um, no!
D: Why not?
P: Because I gave birth to four children…do you want details?
D: Ugh..no. Well do something to keep your heart rate up.
P: I am, I’m watching American Idol.

Poor baby, he really does have his work cut out for him, doesn’t he? And honestly I am very grateful he's willing to assist me on my journey to help my Mii at least be able to find a shirt that fits (see above pic)--thanks babe, you're the best!

For more ‘Things I love Thursday’ just jumping jack flash yourself over to The Diaper Diaries.