Can you mourn for a house that doesn’t exist?

I had a dream a few weeks ago that has stayed with me.  I woke up so very very sad.

I dreamed that I was getting a house.  Not just any house.  It was gorgeous and big and spacious and filled with light.  And it was abandoned.  On my parent’s property.  So, we were just going to repair some things and move in.  It was filled with antique furniture, too.

It looked a lot like this.

 

From the second story, you could see the back of my mom’s house.  There were woods in between, and a lovely trail to her house.  I could just picture the kiddos running back and forth between our houses.

The only thing we worried about was being able to get to the house with a car.  But on one side was a lovely carport that led to a small road going out to the main road.  It was literally perfect.

I’m telling you, this house haunted me for days after that dream.  I’d wander through it in my mind.  I was planning which rooms would belong to which children, where I’d set up my sewing machine, what furniture would go where.  The kitchen was wonderful.  It had these high ceilings with beams and huge windows letting in all kinds of southern light.  It was warm and welcoming, even in a disheveled, unclean state. 

But this house doesn’t exist.  Only in my imagination. 

I guess with this last (forever, it feels like) year of transition, I’m feeling the need for a home.  A place that is ours and we can put our stamp on.  I don’t know when that will be.  Maybe that’s why I’m mourning that house.  I don’t have my own. 

I don’t know.  Maybe I’m just a tad kooky.  There’s ALWAYS that possibility. 

You ever have those fabulous dream that make you sad when you wake up because they aren’t reality?  I’d love to hear about them.

My favorite room ever, even if it doesn’t exist

I was wandering around the interweb this morning and came across some photos.  It got me thinking. 

Y’all know about my love of books, right?  Well this started it all.

Look at that.  Being surrounded by books.  Oh.  My.  Bliss. 

Then I saw these.

Then I got to thinking about what my dream library would look like.  A wall of bookshelves like this.

With a sofa like this.

Then I remembered polyvore.  You can put together any kind of set.  Outfits, rooms, anything. 

So I did. 

This would be my dream library. 

Except there would be many, many more bookshelves.

 

Which would be your favorite room?  How would it look? 

If you set it up, or have it for reals, leave me a comment <pretty please>. 

And if you have a link, that too, please?  I’d love to stalk take a look at your favorite places.

 

 

Love,

 

your true blue looky loo,

Dream a Little Dream of Me

Warning: I've decided to forgo any long and involved backstory to this post, I've decided to take it directly from my journal. Also I was going to say in this case the devil ISN'T in the details but honestly I've never been sure how to appropriately use that particular phrase. Feel free to enlighten me.

Some days I am crushed by the weight of making decisions. All decisions, the big, scary, life-changing parenting/career decisions and the itty-bitty 'what's for dinner' decisions. I love my family. I know it's cliche but they are truly my pride and joy. They are also my identity. Thankfully it's one I've worn proudly for many years. (I'm sure I'll continue to display the Mom badge on my vest for many years to come! I've earned it!)

(Awe, aren't they cute little, life force drainers? I kid, I kid! I adore them!)

But I know God has begun to plant the tiniest seed of a new dream deep within my soul. And I am afraid of what He's going to ask of me. I tremble to even ask Him what the plan is or what it might (and I stress MIGHT) entail.

But on rare days, like today, I dream of accepting the position without even reading the requirements. My dreams soar and dip and twist. They send my pulse racing with excitement and at the same time my chest tightens in anxiety. (Dare I hope that you, my sweet little blog, will be part of this change?)

There it is again, that fear of the unknown comes creeping back. No, not fear of the unknown, fear of exposure. Exposing a new identity to my world. Showing a different side of me, the 35-year-old, mother of four who could stand to lose a few (okay a bunch) of pounds.

I hide behind my four beautiful children. I hide behind my home. I hide behind my responsibilities. I hide behind my weight. I hide behind my mom uniform (jeans and a plain black tee). I hide behind my routine in the every day.

So in the year of our Lord two thousand and eleven, I'm making a to-do list. No goals or resolutions.

Number one on my list? Rediscovering me. I don't have a 12 step program or even a *new* self-help book. Nope, I'm gonna do that by doing this:

Loving the Lord my God with all my heart, with all my soul, and all my mind. ~paraphrasing Matt. 22:27

May 2011 bring you many days of peace, happiness, love, discovery, and of course many, many days of staying in your PJs til Noon.

One of my favorite things

That’s a dish drainer.  Full of eggs.

We have a neighbor and other people from church who give us eggs.  I love getting fresh eggs.  Especially when they’re free.  The only catch that’s not really a catch?  I have to wash them myself. 

It’s actually sort of relaxing, washing the eggs.  I think that I’m just so grateful and enjoy looking at the colors so much that it’s almost fun.  So, if washing eggs is the only price I paid for 3 1/2 dozen beautiful eggs?  I’ll take it.  Any day of the week.

Just look at these.  I love that blue one.  And my kids are arguing over that tiny one.  We’ve already taken care of the cracked one, so don’t worry. 

So there you have it.  Rural life does have a few perks.  And having this in my fridge is one of them.

I can do anything now.  Well, I can bake anything now.  It’s almost the same thing.

The One With the Painted Pumpkins

I'm such a non-crafty, non-home decor kind of girl but I'm attempting to change this. Actually I'm struggling, mightily. And in the spirit of trying to prove this, I'm posting my latest challenge here for all the world (well, for the two or three people who read this) to see.

I saw someone else out in the blogosphere put their house numbers on their pumpkins...so ca-ute! (Sorry for not giving credit, I get a little click happy sometimes and I just keep going and going and I have no idea where I started or where I end up.) I attempted it. I love them! My favorite part is they are painted and if I can keep the stupid squirrels from vandalizing them the pumpkins should last through Thanksgiving.

I also love my authentic apple crate. It's from a local company which makes me love it even more. The name is Wm. H. Boaz, isn't that just fantastic? Why? I don't know, it just is!

So the grand scheme is to get a couple of mums (my budget ran low--darn kids think they have to eat--before I could get them last week) and some corn stalks to finish the 'vignette.'

Here's the full view:

I keep switching the pumpkin in and out of the crate. The goal was to put the mums in the crate, but again, darn budget.

Here's a close up of one of my punkins:

And here they are without the crate....hmmm...

So whatcha think? Got any ideas for how to place them more attractively? Any other unusual fall additions you'd suggest? Any thoughts on how to keep the stupid squirrels from destroying my pumpkins? I prefer cheap or, even better, free options, but all ideas will be appreciated.

So tell me, what's up with you this fall? Attempting anything new or different?

My Nightstand Overfloweth and a few other things

Ok, I started this and accidentally hit post. So for a few hours there was only a title. I'm not all there. Sorry.

Then I finished this post and my Internet Explorer shut down, not saving anything. Thanks a lot IE and Blogger! FOR NOTHING!

Ok, since I worked so hard and it's all gone, this one will be significantly shorter. My heart is not in doing it all over.

That said, here's the newbies on the nightstand.

All Over But The Shoutin by Rick Bragg. This one's been waiting for me for a while. I borrowed it from a good friend so I need to get crackin. Pretty excited about reading it. SOON.

The Thirteenth Tale by Diane Setterfield. This is a book about books. This will be a theme this month. The main character recalls becoming so engrossed in a book as a child that she fell off of a wall and got hurt. This book is that enthralling, but I did manage to escape injury.

Little Heathens by Mildred Armstrong Kalish. Great memoir of her childhood on a farm during the Depression. I love books about simpler times even when they were hard. It seems very timely right now.

The Poisonwood Bible by Barbara Kingsolver. This one has been on my to read list for a while. I've checked it out from the library a few times, but this time I am determined!

The Book of Air & Shadows by Michael Gruber. I'm not sure about his one. I'm about 1/4 through it. The narrator/main character is ...well... a horn dog. He doesn't go into detail (thank goodness) but it's still a little off-putting. The story is another book about books and very interesting, but I may end up putting it down. We'll see...

Now to the MP3 on top of the book pile. I have several books on there. I adore audiobooks. I think that is my preferred genre. This is what's in there:

New Moon by Stephanie Meyer. I know. Another 30something mom reading vampire YA fiction. I know. But to be fair, I was a youth pastor's wife and our new church has many young girls and I want to know about these books. I will say that Stephanie Meyer has a knack for a plot. It draws you in.

The Book Thief by Markus Zusak. I lurve lurve lurve this book. I'm in the middle of it and cannot say how great it is. Who knew that the grip reaper narrating would work? The main character is a little girl to whom books are very precious. Don't you just love her already? Put this on your list to read. You will thank me.

Crazy Love by Francis Chan. Crazy good. Enough said.

The Fine Line by Kary Oberbrunner. I got this free by responding to one of his tweets. Thanks Twitter! It discusses the fine line between modern culture and Christianity. I love topics like this. Bring it on!!

I'm linked up at 5 minutes for books and their monthly carnival here.

I just noticed that I used that title before. I still like It. I'm keeping it. Ok, ADD moment over.

So what is on your night stand? Or what are you reading now?

Now to the other things.

Our air is out. I know, pity me. Really, what did we do before we had air conditioning? How did our parents and grandparents survive? I am pondering, in these tough times some of the things I consider essential. They really aren't essential at all, but really nice to have all the same. I am thankful that our thermometer took a dive today and the temp in my house is 72. My toes are actually chilly. Imagine that. So to all of you who are complaining and wish summer would just get here already, I'm saying ix-nay on the ot-hay.

An update on this post. Dave took all of the twitter updates off of his phone. Not only did he take them off, he sent a 2 twitter rant about how he was done. Silly man. Using twitter to complain about twitter. That's funny right there.

I packed a few boxes yesterday! I'm so proud. If you don't already know, this is a HUGE development for me. I plan on throwing on an audiobook and doing more today. I may not have any idea what's in the box later (I can't multi-task) but it will be packed. Woo-hoo.

Alright, that's enough for now. Anybody got tips on dealing with the heat in a non-air conditioned home? Please share!

Clean Sweep Amateur Hour: A heart-broken girl finds solace

Ok, I thought this was just a cute little sign.  I got it in an email a few years ago and laughed at it.  Then my laptop decided to we needed a break.  I even got the whole "It's not you, it's me." speech.  

And then I discovered that this sign is true.  I can testify.  See what I accomplished yesterday.  

This is my everything room.  Well, not everything.  But, a lot.  Craft, sewing, laundry, storage of all sorts.  This was the final frontier, the room that desperately needed cleaning but all the other rooms got done first.  I have conquered where no man has gone before (only because we couldn't get past Laundry Mountain).

This is my craft table.  That's my sewing machine.  Notice that the table is completely clear of debris and clutter.  This was not so a few days ago.  Clothes and unfinished projects were piled up as high as the lamp.
This is one of the corners.  I have fabric on the shelf by the table.  There are various things in the drawers.  The box has curtain rods and other tall thin things.  The small drawers have small scrapbooking doodads, ribbon, buttons, etc.  The bin is full of fiber fill.  That's my sewing box that my beautiful sister gave me.  I love the fabric on it.  This corner is not pretty, but it is functional.
This bookcase is absolutely overflowing with fabric.  See all the white?  Those are vintage chenille bedspreads.  They sell in antique stores for $30-40.  I inherited them when my grandmother went to the nursing home.  I plan on slipcovering my sofas with them one day.

Yes, it goes all the way up to the ceiling.
All sorts of things have their home in this room.  Luggage, wrapping supplies, vacuum, ironing board, unfinished projects.  The big blue lump of fabric is a comforter that is hanging to dry.  I call that the wonder bar.  Ha!  My son's bears jersey is hanging behind it.  That is one of the best ideas I've had, if I do say so myself.   See the red bag right below the pillows?  That is the bag 0 hats.  I bet we have 50 hats in that bag.  I'm thinking ebay...
There's the floor!!!  It has been a very long time since this poor floor has been able to breathe.
This is Lou's room.  That is Olivia to those who don't know.  I call her Lou most of the time.  We acquired the pom-poms from the girls tea that she went to at church last week.  We have the best children's pastors in the world!  The curtain is actually a dress made in Indonesia.  I just hung it on a rod and she loves it.  It reminds me of a side pony tail.

This is her little table and dresser.  The quilt hanging is her baby crib quilt that I made.  Go me.  I love that quilt.
This is my boy's tv corner.  Spider Man drops in every now and then just to see if they are behaving.  I hate to say that he has caught them fighting more than once.  Dave killed that deer a few years ago.  He is probably mortified that I don't know exactly when or how much it weighed.  I do know we named him Buckley.
This is Gabe drinking water in his newly clean room.  I got in there and cleaned it a little before Christmas.  At the time, I didn't check everything I threw away.  Regret that.  There was an old broken cd case that went in the garbage.  We discovered the next day that they kept all of their video games in that case.  Yes.  All.  Gone.  Every.  One.  I had that sick feeling in my stomach that day too.

Well, there you have it.  Broken computer means clean house.  I will admit that I have been trying to purge and get more organized for the last few months.  Maybe I just needed a push.  I had to have something to keep my mind off my break-up, or I'd be seriously down.

My clean house make me feel better, but I still want my baby back.

The Final Reveal

My family falls in the love category with Napoleon Dynomite.

Just a quick movie quote and then on to other things.

I absolutely LOVE the portrait Napoleon worked so hard on for Trisha. When she turned it over, I thought I'd suffocate, I was laughing so hard. "It took me like three hours to finish the shading on your upper lip. It's probably the best drawing I've ever done."

This is my bedroom now. I finished cleaning it on Friday night. Doesn't it look nice? It feels bigger.I'm pretty sure I've gotten rid of the clutter that just kept creeping back in.

I got a new book case. I wanted a side table with drawers and couldn't find one I could afford. So cheap book case and canvas bins does the trick.

This is the reason for the bins. This is my pretty book case. It's filled with my favorite books. And that's my reading chair.

I found this for $10 at Goodwill. I stop in every now and then to check out furniture that would be great with a little TLC. I have a bread machine that I just figured out. Every recipe needs about 1/4 c more water than called for. But this new/old one has a bigger pan. I have many recipes that were 2 lb and my machine was only 1 1/2 lb. I'm hoping this one will rise to my expectations.
It was filthy, which is probably why it was only $10. I'll let you know how great or not so much it turns out.

So, how many of you are working on getting certain rooms organized?

Or, what's your most recent great bargain? I do love a good bargain.

Do share...

~Jen

WHAT? Jen get organized?

I'm a mess. I admit it. This

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is what my bedroom looked like yesterday. (Don't be alarmed, this is at the height of getting worse before it gets better.)

I've said that if I could keep my house clean it would be ready for a magazine shoot. The ones that advertise shoestring decorating. So yesterday, I decided to tackle the problem. I also determined to get to the root of the problem.

It turns out that in spite of living on 1 1/2 salaries, we have accumulated TOO MUCH CRAP.

I have been purging for the last year, little by little, and it seems that I'm getting nowhere. So I went through my closet and if I haven't worn it in the last year, it's a goner.

I even made the hubster get rid of old shirts, worn out sweaters and shoes.

I spent quite a bit of time doing this. I'm going to post a few more pics of the process and then I'll make you wait for the final reveal.

Anticipation heightens the experience.

Plus, I'm not done yet.

This box was under my bed.

This was in the box. Ain't he cute? Yes, that's the kitchen trash can.

This is the trifecta of hubba-bubba's jerseys.

Can you guess where he grew up?

Let me give you a hint.

Chicken in the car and the car won't go.

(He hates that phrase, by the way)

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Well, I also have one pic that I'm particularly proud of. Here it be:

This is a load of clothes that are in great shape and are more appropriate for work. I am trying to find a local Dress for Success or a charity like it to donate these to.

In the past, I've been so ready to be rid of things they just go to goodwill, and that's fine. But if I can help someone get prepared for a job interview and possibly change their life, that's what I'd rather do.

Well, like I said, I'll tell you more tomorrow. I'm hoping to be completely done by then. The hiatus was a chance to get a little more organization in there. Target here I come.

~Jen~ and I'm not in my pjs. It's 3, people. I do have a little self-pride.